What if even your sense of what feels good and what doesn't has been so twisted that you can no longer rely on it?

Since 2019, I have noticed very clearly that something is changing in our society. Not only in Germany, but in different countries and social groups—more visible in some places, less in others. And Bonnie Blue, Anne Wünsche, Katja Krasavice, and so, so, so many more (even on a small scale) make a part of this very visible, for example: We have completely lost our sense of "right" and "wrong," and we are closer to the Truman Show than some might think.

In 2019, I had what many in spirituality would call a "Dark Night of the Soul." This first deep crisis led me into New Age spirituality. In 2025, a second one came. This one led me to Jesus. And since then, I keep thinking about a sentence that I wrote as a dedication in my book back in 2019: For everyone who wants "more out of life." Today I believe: In the long run, this desire can lead you in two completely different directions—towards deception or towards truth.

What does "more" actually mean? Back then, this "more" was really a peaceful feeling of depth and freedom for me. I did not know back then that you can take two completely different paths in search of it. Paths that might even look similarly "free" from the outside—at least according to what most of our society sees as freedom.

And I certainly would not have understood back then that real freedom can look like a cross that Jesus hung on. Even though I felt I already understood a lot about the rest of the normal everyday circus—and that was exactly why I often felt misunderstood. We live in a culture where boundaries are quickly seen as limits, and crossing boundaries (because people often call it making self-determined choices) is seen as freedom.

Experience more. Earn more. See more. Try out more—no matter what, no matter how, as long as it is new. Get more attention. Get more out of yourself. "Grow" more—at least, that is often how it looks from the outside. And some kinds of this "more" definitely make sense and really move us forward. But some kinds of "more" are based on inner deception. From the outside, the difference is sometimes hard to see. For example: There is a difference between being at a yacht party because you earned your place there yourself or friends invited you—or being there because a man wanted to have you around in a bikini. From the outside, it might look the same: you are on the yacht. But the way there and the price you were willing to pay for it are not the same. Personally, I strongly dislike these kinds of dynamics, and I do not take part in them. But there are people for whom the "at any cost" rule takes over at some point: the main thing is more.

But leaving safe environments, habits, and social traditions is only true progress if we have a standard to guide us. We need to know which direction we are moving in, and what inner foundation we are standing on. Because if that standard is only our own feelings—or the feelings of groups we belong to and feel comfortable with—a problem arises sooner or later: What if even our sense of what is good and bad can change over time, because our standard of feelings can change?

What if something starts to feel good, not because it has become good, but because we got used to it? And what if something feels bad, not because it has become bad, but because our standard has shifted? Then "It feels right to me" or "It no longer feels right to me" are not good enough as answers anymore. Because what if the situation itself did not change, but rather the standard you use to measure it? And what if that standard has moved further and further in the wrong direction?

And this exact question asks something uncomfortable of us: not to look at our life only from our own perspective, but to take a critical look at ourselves and our standards. And that can really shake you up AND become very uncomfortable. Because who or what can you trust if you cannot even trust yourself? If you are at this point: ask about Jesus. Start seeking Him and getting to know Him.

I experienced this myself—in so many situations. For example, when I spent my first months in Thailand, I was naturally repelled by red-light districts. Eventually, I found myself sitting right in the middle of them, partying along, and acting—as I thought back then—"very relaxed." I was even a little proud of it. I thought I had grown. I mistook my growing indifference for openness, and getting used to things for personal growth. I thought I was becoming more relaxed in my relationship, and that maybe our relationship would get better if we gave each other more freedom in such things. We did not know any better—neither he nor I.

He had a surprisingly accurate feeling about it, one that looking back fits very well with the Christian understanding. But back then, he could not explain it beyond that feeling either. And I had my own feeling too, because to me his explanation seemed too logical and not emotional enough—except my feeling was the exact opposite of his. Today I look back and see something completely different. The situation had not changed. My standard had shifted. And after that, his shifted too.

We had no shared foundation, no clear higher standard to guide both of us. Years before, he had spoken about temptations that he felt as a man, and he sometimes used the word “devil” for them. That hurt me back then, because I could not see the bigger picture and took his words personally, connecting them to me and our relationship. So some things pushed us further and further apart, even though love was there. Today I see something in this that I did not understand back then: from a Christian point of view, the idea that temptation, deception, and other influences can pull people away from each other and from what is good is not far-fetched at all.

Where there is something good, it needs protection and watchfulness. Because the Bible makes it quite clear that we must expect temptation and spiritual opposition—and that we need God to stand firm and to really let work be done on us. By Him.

For we all carry wounds and need God’s healing, His grace, and His love. Especially in a world where countless voices want to tell us who we are, what is wrong with us, what we need, and what we should accept as normal. Yet a purely human explanation might describe a part of us—without automatically capturing the whole picture. We simply had no shared understanding of this—and therefore no shared standard by which we could test it.

And looking back, that is exactly what scares me: how slowly and quietly such a process can happen. When the people around you also say that something is normal or not normal, funny or harmless, good or bad, your inner resistance disappears at some point. After all, we want to belong, we want clarity, and we want to do the right thing.

We feel connected to people. We trust the world around us, and above all, we trust ourselves. So whatever was normal in our environment—or even in our childhood—starts to feel completely normal and therefore right to us, too. From a Christian point of view, I believe today that this is where a form of spiritual deception can hide.

Not everything that pulls us away from God or is not true looks destructive at the start. Some things look like freedom.
Some like self-fulfillment.
Some like tolerance.
Some like personal growth.
And some things even feel good. Some things can even look or feel like we are following God.

But who decides what is good then? For me, this is the key question today. If every person decides for themselves what is right and wrong – is there really any right and wrong outside our personal feelings? By now, I believe very strongly: yes. And I believe that we cannot create this standard ourselves. Instead, the One who created us gave it to us – and that is why it is meant for us, not against us. It does not depend on our own feelings, which had a whole lifetime to shift and adapt to what is “normal” in our society and our environment. Today, I see this standard in Jesus Christ.

Not in a society that can change its values. Not in an algorithm that rewards whatever grabs attention. Not in my circle of friends. Not in my family. Not in the people I work with. Not even purely in my own feelings. In Christ.

And that does not mean following him is always pleasant. On the contrary. When your standard changes, things your environment sees as completely normal can suddenly seem wrong. You can lose friends. Leave familiar circles. Judge opportunities differently. Regret things you once celebrated. You can be misunderstood and face resistance. Because truth suddenly has a name and a clear frame – and that is not always comfortable. Sometimes it tears something down first. And that is exactly why turning around can hurt. You might have to look at your shame, allow grief, take responsibility in a new way, and accept that some things you worked for and lived by for years were perhaps not good after all. That is also why I understand why so many people prefer to justify themselves for years instead of turning around.

Maybe we misunderstood “more life” I do not believe that “more of life” means experiencing more and more and as many different things as possible. I do not believe it means breaking through as many limits as possible, earning as much money as possible, being as visible as possible, or being able to try everything – even if we had to give up our integrity for it.

I believe you truly have more of life when you can be grateful. When you can give and receive real love. When you know peace. When you do not constantly have to prove something. And when you can tell the difference again between what truly makes you and your heart come alive, and what only looks like freedom for a moment.

And this is the exact freedom I found in Jesus Christ. It costs something. It can cost ideas, relationships, habits, and entire versions of who we used to be.

But I have learned: Not everything that costs you something really takes something away from you. Some things give you life back – not just for this life, but for eternity. And for me today, that is exactly where the much greater “more” lies. We cannot earn the fact that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and offers us reconciliation with God. We can only accept it.

Thank you, Jesus. I pray that You touch every heart that has found its way to this text.

Lena :)